why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize