i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
