Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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