he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
