My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
