It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
