I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
