I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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