My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
im drinking this country out of the recession.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
