Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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