The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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