Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
