Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
