He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
