you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
