Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize