Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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