I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
