They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
