i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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