Say something about gay babies.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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