I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have so many feelings about this burrito
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
