ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
