No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
