You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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