dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
