Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
