Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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