Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
