Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
