Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
