The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
