He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
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