apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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