the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
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