hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
