Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
In America we eat man semen.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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