were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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