I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
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