What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
