your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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