You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
