i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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