I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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