Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
he fucked my hip out of place.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
