Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
