He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
we made out on top of his cat.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
