he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
