The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
