so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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