he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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