Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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