She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
