My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
