we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
