i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
