Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Randomize
