before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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