i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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