My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
