I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize