Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize