first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
