I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
