just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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