some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
where are my eyebrows?
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