Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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