You're my little dorito
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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