He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
