Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
