I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
His hands were made for my vagina.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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